Perhaps I made my extremely handsome son George sound a bit over indulged on yesterdays blog post. What with football boots and cash. He isn't though I promise you. He doesn't ask for much. In fact there are times when I wish I could give him more. He is not the type of teenager who has to have the latest fashions or modern gadgets. He is not one to be seduced by hype.
He goes to college, and there is a very small educational allowance. I have no idea what it is called. What I do know is that if his mum and I weren't earning, under the benefits system in this country he would be entitled to more money.
When he is not at college he works in the forest to help make ends meet, making fencing and sawmilling, that kind of thing. It is not particularly well paid, and it can be hard work when it is wet and cold. But he doesn't complain.
Maybe if his mum and I were wealthier, perhaps we would spoil him a bit. Well actually there is no maybe about it. We undoubtedly would. I cannot see anything wrong with giving such a helpful lad a bit of help as he starts out on the road to adulthood.
He knows how much we love him, and he also knows that love is more important than possessions. But if he needs anything he knows he can ask and if possible we will help. I am pleased that he has the confidence to ask.
I am aware that these things I am saying, are only what most loving parents would say or do, but I am coming at it from the perspective of someone who was shoved out entirely on his own at fifteen years old.
Anyway, as I say he doesn't need a lot or ask for much. He is not a slave to fashionable trainers or clothes. He is not into drinking or clubbing. His pleasures are in a game of football, or enjoying nature and wild camping. These things cost little or are free.
It is a real privilege to be his dad. Twenty pounds son? Yes of course, and if I had a million pounds I would give you that as well. It would of course only be a small down payment for all the love and happiness you have given me.
What a great guy he sounds, and your love and affection is one of the greatest gifts, far and away better than money (although money is always nice too).
ReplyDeleteI hope he doesn't get less allowance because he goes out to work. Thre's something a bit wrong when working reduces someone's income.
"It is a real privilege to be...dad." Thanks for saying it so well, John. So well.
ReplyDeleteThere is such satisfaction in knowing that your child is someone you would like even if they were not yours. Congratulations to you and to EHS George. He may not have everything you wish for him but it probably has made him a better person. At least that is what people of better means than me have told me.
ReplyDeleteA lovely letter to George...will he get to read it?
ReplyDeleteJane x
Thats a nicely written piece. Lovely way to look at it
ReplyDeleteYou know, I think at the end of our lives, are we going to look back and say, "I wish I hadn't given my child that money." I don't think so!
ReplyDeleteWe as good parents do not know how not to love and care for our offspring, especially when they need our help...you did well by your son John.
ReplyDeleteI can appreciate your pride in your son as I do also feel as the dad of Kate and Alice. Having met your EHS George I can understand that pride as he is an upstanding young man. Lea and I look forward to catching up in 2 more years.
ReplyDeleteYour George sounds like a fine young man. You did good :)
ReplyDeleteGeorge sounds like a great lad. Sounds like you and his Mum did a good job. I think this is a lovely post. Your love for your son shines out.
ReplyDeleteI must say though I think that optician saw you coming. That is one expensive pair of glasses. I bet it was a young woman that sold them to you. 'these look really good on you' 'you look so much younger in this pair' blah blah. Go on John tell me I am wrong.
Am I becoming cynical in my old age or perceptive ;-)
All decisions about the glasses were made by me Eileen. Varifocals were what caused the expense, but they will be a great help to me when I am painting. She wasn't a young woman, but she was very attractive, a lot like you in fact. Obviously she found me attractive too and wanted me to look even better than I do already. :-)
DeleteAh sweet, but didn't she know you cant improve on perfection ;-)
DeleteI know what you mean, my daughter is the same way. She lives within her means, like us. But she knows that if she really needs something, she can ask. She gets good grades, is responsible and generally a great kid. I think kids with those attributes should occasionally be spoiled.
ReplyDeleteWhat a lovely thing to say about your son, I like you was tossed to life in a big city at the age of 16 from my tiny island home. I landed with all my possessions in a cardboard box and $60 to my name. I guess I am proud to have done it all successfully on my own. I have seen my indulged brothers fall by the wayside as they were always bailed out when they needed money. I know my mother regretted being overly free with her dollars to my brothers and lamented this as she was dying.
ReplyDeleteI wasn't tossed out at 16, but my mum moved me and my siblings out of the family home to a rundown shell of a small terraced house with one cold water tap and an outside loo. It was all she could afford to rent, but it was far better than living with a drunken father who continually picked fights with my poor mother, and ignored his three children.
ReplyDeleteI applaud the way you relate to your son, you have every right to be a proud father, I only wish I'd have had the love of my father. I don't have any children to lavish my attention on. I did my bit for my sisters children when they were younger, they have their own lives and families now. Helping animals gives me immense satisfaction now, that is reward enough for me.
What a lovely post. George has obviously learned what's important in life from his mum and dad, you've done good.
ReplyDeleteAs I was reading all the lovely comments about EHS George I suddenly had a thought. Everyone seemed to focus on the money you gave to EHS George. What about the other expenditures? No one mentioned them. Our children are not luxury items and most children do not ask for things that are frivolous to them. From all of your posts it is obvious that EHS George has been raised well and he is a good person as well as a good son. I do not believe that EHS George is where the cutbacks are needed.
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