About an hour ago I lit yet another bonfire, this time it was full of weeds. As soon as I had got it going the heavens opened. Oh my word the precipitation! But no it didn't put the fire out. What it did was make loads of thick smoke. The smoke drifted across the railway line at the bottom of my place. Honestly I am not kidding, you could not see a foot in front of you. I thought that the trains might have to stop because the signal was blocked by smoke.
Anyway in a valiant attempt at averting a catastrophe, I quickly took off my red petticoat and ran along the track waving it frantically in front of trains. No I didn't. Sorry. I'm afraid I got carried away again. I'm very tired. I haven't even got a red petticoat, and if I did have I certainly wouldn't wave it at train drivers, or wear it come to that. Maybe I would wear it, but I would prefer it to be blue. Although I don't think train drivers are conditioned to react to blue. Which is good, because it means I wouldn't have to take it off and wave it at them. Sorry about this I am very tired.
It is now nine twenty five. It has taken me fifteen minutes to write this nonsense. Why so long I hear you ask? Well because I can't wave petticoats at train drivers and write at the same ti....
Sorry just had to pop out. Another train.
I am very tired. I think I shall give the best selling book a miss tonight, and take myself off to bed. I have been outside all day doing stuff. It is now nine thirty two and fifty eight seconds. Nine thirty three I mean.. And five seconds. Good night. God bless.
Oh dear look at the state of this petticoat. Nine thirty four and....
Lively day! I was immediately reminded of (an old '60s U.S. sitcom) "Petticoat Junction" --accessible only by train, the Hooterville Cannonball, between Hooterville and its more advanced neighbor, Pixley. I remember lots of petticoats but they were all in black and white. For red or blue... oh, you must be in Pixley.
ReplyDeleteYou know, for some reason if you never get your life story written, you could always have a go at writing comedies. I don't know how writing about trains and petticoats can be funny, but you make it so. You always seem to brighten my day.
ReplyDeleteDoes that mean I'm going to be woken up every ten minutes when a train comes thundering past, shaking my tent to bits :o)
ReplyDeleteOoop's did I forget to mention the trains Ilona? You do tend to get used to them.
DeleteI love your sense of humor, nonsense and all.
ReplyDeleteYou've been sniffing the smoke from the fire again, haven't you?
ReplyDeleteJane xxx
Sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite!
ReplyDeleteI feel cheated and disappointed! You have been holding out on me! Your red petticoat would have matched beautifully with my floral dress!
ReplyDeleteThe beauty of writing so humorously is that your followers are encouraged to equal you with humorous comments. I love it. Now about this red petticoat, I need more information about where and when you wear it. I know a train driver, you see.
ReplyDeleteYou are indeed a funny guy. Can't stop reading your posts. The book must be as funny too.
ReplyDeleteNow will you be wearing a red petticoat at the birthday celebration? And, if so, please do post some photos...or maybe not.
ReplyDeletethe mind can conjure up some very entertaining tales when it is tired.
ReplyDelete