De-Activated

Once again I have deactivated my Facebook account. It used to be a happy place to visit but lately it seems to be mainly a platform for political views. I do occasionally find something political to agree with but I change my mind so often that I just don't know where I am most of the time. Anyway, a lot of the purveyors of political views seem very angry about everything. As if they expect everyone to agree with their views. As if their views are the only valid ones. As if their views are always the right ones. Well, no, they are not. I try not to do politics. It is an unhappy place to go. Donald Trump and Brexit are the main discussions at the moment. Thousands of people took to the streets recently to protest about both these matters. A last word on this and then I shall shut up. Yes, thousands took to the streets to protest, but millions did not take to the streets. They stayed home. Obviously content with the way things are. So, no Facebook for me at the moment. Oh, I know it won't last, because I am addicted but I am trying.

Here are some pics of what I have been up to lately. The stool was made from a lump of very heavy timber. I don't know what type of wood it is. I made the back and legs from an old dining room chair. I added the old penny as an afterthought. It is a 1918 penny and as it is now 2018 I thought it was a good idea. Doing this made me think of the 1914/1918 war. A little personal remembrance.

The chair back was too broken to retain the original shape so I cut the broken bits out and inserted some new wood. It is a different shape but it works I think. When I was a kid most shops had a chair for customers to sit whilst they waited to be served. Often the chair would have an advert on it. These were known as advertising chairs. Today they are rare. So, I put an advert on this one. A bit of a play on words. I doubt such a shop existed with this name but I am aiming for a particular market with this one.

I am still waiting to hear about the psychiatric assessment I have to undergo. I am still waiting for my appointment to be arranged to have my heart scan. I have been feeling really under the weather lately. I thought the beta blockers were not helping me. In fact I thought they were contributing to my low moods so I phoned the doctor and asked if it was okay to stop taking them. He said yes, so I have stopped them. I hate tablets!

I have received an interim payment regarding childhood trauma. Not a life changing amount but it has enabled me to pay off all the debts that have been hanging over me for years. This is a wonderful feeling. No longer do I have to pay more than half my pension out every month to the bank. Of course these debts were self inflicted. I thought they would follow me to the grave. But once again my belief that 'the Lord will provide' has saved me. Perhaps I ought to start really believing in Him? It was 68 years ago when I was put into care. The whole situation seems almost unbelievable.

Here are some more pics of things I have been making and mending. I bought the chest at a car boot sale, did it up a bit and decided to paint a couple of naive pictures on it. I think it has polished up well.
The little chair is intended for a child or to display a doll on.

If you click on the pictures they will enlarge.

That's it for now. I hope you are well. Thank you for being there.

The Loneliness Of The Long Distance Memory.

I’m not wanting to sound unloved or needy. I am not looking for sympathy either but I am feeling lonely. I do have family close at hand and I do have friends who I know I can talk to at any time but my loneliness is not the kind that can be comforted away with kind words, understanding and hugs. My loneliness is inside my head. It is ungraspable. It cannot be taken hold of and shaken. It cannot be stirred until it melts away. And at this very moment in time - although I thought otherwise - it cannot be written about.

The New Old Workshop And A Psychiatric Assessment.

It's been ages hasn't it? But here I am still alive and kicking. I have been out of sorts since this heatwave began and of course me being a man I keep thinking the worst and expecting to kick the bucket at any minute. I am waiting for an appointment for a scan at the hospital. I have no idea how long that will be. I had two ECG's though and everything seems OK. So I try not to worry too much.I think what is making me feel so low apart from the heat is the ongoing saga about my childhood traumas. It does get to me all this harking back to the past. I thought my book would have seen the end of it but coincidentally the legal battles began shortly after. I phoned the survivors association recently and told them I didn't want to continue but they persuaded me to keep going for the sake of future children who might find themselves facing bad situations. So, on I go with it. The next step is seeing a psychiatrist. What difference that is going to make I have no idea. I mean, after all is said and done, I am certainly not the same person now as I was as a ten year old boy! But the other sides lawyers are insisting on it and I have had to release my medical records to them. I am feeling like a victim all over again. It is not easy but I think the beta-blocker tablets are helping to keep the anxiety at bay. It feels daft saying that but it is what it is.

On a happier note I have been busy making a new workshop for myself. It is made entirely from stuff I have had lying about the place and didn't cost me anything apart from a few nails. I am pleased with the result and have already completed a few projects. Here, -if I can find them- are some pictures for your perusal and delight. I say on a happier note but I don't want you to think I am terribly unhappy because I am not. I have my off days, but who doesn't? Nothing keeps me down for too long. I am a naturally happy person most of the time.

The weather was much cooler today and I went for a nice walk with Mia the German Shepherd. It was even nicer because my Extremely Handsome Son George came with us.

My extremely handsome son George helped me to put these heavy railway sleepers in place.

Thank you for stopping by. I am glad you are still here with me despite the long break. I will be back soon to show you some of the stuff I have been making and restoring.