Short Story. Or Is It The Start Of My New Book?

Sandra says she is pregnant. She says she is definite. She says she is always on time and she is a week late. I’ve only known her for a few weeks. Mind you we have been fucking non-stop since then. At it like rabbits we are. She has got a bit of a reputation as being easy and I know she has had a few boyfriends, but she says she really loves me and I believe her.

I don’t know what to say to her. Suppose I feel a bit happy about it really. A bit proud. I suppose she will want to get married. I wouldn’t mind getting married. I do love her and like I say, she says she loves me.

Sandra has been talking about prams and baby clothes a lot lately. I feel useless being on the dole. I ain’t got any money to buy stuff for the baby. Cot. She took me to look at a cot. A brand new one. She says she wants all new stuff for the baby and she don’t want a second hand pram neither.

I went back to the shop. The one where they sell all the baby stuff. I had a look round the back. Don’t know how I’m going to get a cot out, but there is a window. It’s got bars on and it’s a bit small but the bars don’t look all that strong.  I could get some baby clothes through it and nappies. Sandra goes on about nappies. Don’t think I could get a pram through it. Maybe one of them folding ones, but even that’s a bit dodgy.

Remanded in custody.  They reckon I will get eighteen months. What happened was I did the shop. The baby stuff shop. Got loads of stuff. Clothes and that. Sandra was so pleased. Ever so happy. But I didn’t get nappies. Couldn’t find them and I didn’t want to hang about. So I went back the next night. Fucking stupid! They got me as I was climbing back out with the nappies.

Sandra came to visit me. She says she has met someone else. A bloke with a job. She says she was going to write me a letter but she thought she would do the decent thing and tell me in person. I am really upset but there ain’t nothing I can do, not while I’m stuck in here.

She says she is ever so happy with her new bloke. Dave his name is and what is really good, she says, is that she is not pregnant after all. False alarm. She doesn’t understand that at all because usually she is as regular as clockwork!