Not Cooking With Gas.

I ran out of gas the end of last week and didn't have enough money to buy any more. Quite a common situation for me, running out of money. Not something I worry about too much. Seems pointless to worry about something I haven't got. As I always say, the Lord will provide. Hey that reminds me, I haven't checked my lottery ticket! He sometimes works in mysterious ways. I could be a millionaire! Where did I put that ticket?

If you are an American, and I know quite a few people are, I should point out that when I talk about gas I don't mean for the car, I mean gas for cooking. I use calor or propane gas. Funny thing is it comes in liquid form but somehow between the container and the stove it changes into an invisible gas. Don't ask me to explain that please. Beats me. It comes in a little tank. Not one of them army tanks. I don't have the Tank Regiment turning up on my doorstep. I'm talking about a steel container. Holds about 15kg. I say about 15kg because although it says that on the container how can I be sure? I don't have the faintest clue how to weigh gas. I mean if I let the gas out to weigh it it would surely just float away? I could I suppose capture it in a balloon, but what size balloon? Suppose I got the wrong size, I'd be in trouble then wouldn't I? The whole issue could turn into another Hindenburg disaster. A bloody great explosion. Bits of burning balloon all over the place. Probably set fire to my wagon. I'd end up homeless. There would have to be an inquiry and I would have to explain how it happened. Have to tell them I was checking to see if the gas really did weigh 15kg. They might even declare me mentally unstable and lock me away. It doesn't bear thinking about. No, if it says 15kg I just have to take their word for it. It just isn't worth the risk. There is an element of trust involved, but luckily I am a trusting type of bloke.

Here in the UK we call petrol petrol. I didn't run out of petrol. Wouldn't happen anyway because my vehicle uses diesel. If I put petrol in it wouldn't run at all. Nowadays we can convert our vehicles to gas if we are so inclined or used cooking oil. Although if I can't cook anyway I don't expect to have any used cooking oil. I don't mean petrol this time. I mean gas the stuff I use for cooking. Yes we can run our cars on cooking gas. I can't though because I have run out. I can't even cook anything. Not on the stove anyway.

Somewhere about the place I have got a little Coleman stove. It runs on petrol. I could have used that I suppose, 'cept I can't find it, and I don't have any petrol. It is in one of my many sheds -15 at the last count - buried beneath all sorts of junk. I gave up at shed number five. Not that my sheds are numbered, but it was the fifth one I tried. Maybe I should put numbers on my sheds? I don't think it would help though not really. Unless I made lists of what each shed contained. This would involve too much effort though, and anyway I'm not one for lists. Last list I made got lost. Probably in one of the sheds. It'll turn up one day. It doesn't really matter because I have forgotten what was on it anyway.

When I told my extremely handsome son George that the gas had run out and I wasn't able to cook, he was astonished. "Dad," he said, because that's what he calls me what with me being his father, "Dad, you are supposed to be a bushcraft expert and you are telling me you can't cook anything?"

Of course he had a point, there are many ways of cooking without a gas stove. I took the easy option and lit my wood burning range. Cooked myself a fry up. Bacon, egg, sausage and beans. Delicious. An even easier method would have been to use the microwave oven. Not very bushcraft that though, and anyway I had forgotten I had one.

Why I bother with gas at all I just don't know. Lazy I suppose.

Enjoy the Easter weekend. If you are travelling anywhere make sure you fill up with petrol. That's gas by the way if you are in the States. Don't put gas in your petrol tank though if you are in the UK, that's just asking for trouble.