Dating. I Nearly Did It Again. Somebody Help. Please!

Phew! What a piece of luck that was. I almost had a date tonight. With a woman! Luckily the event I had invited her to was cancelled at the last minute. I sent her a text explaining the situation, and expressing my deep regret, that she would not now be able to spend precious hours in my company.

Oh the cheek of that woman! She texted back, and do you know what she said? No of course you don't. How would you know? You weren't privy to any information until just now. She said, she said, and this is quite unbelievable, she said, and I kid you not dear readers, she said; she had FORGOTTEN ALL ABOUT IT! Yes I know. I was furious! To be honest with you, I still am. In fact I am so furious, that I can't even be bothered to find out if that semi colon after the last she said, is in the right place, or if my pretentious attempt at trying to look as though I know anything about punctuation, has come back to haunt me. I just don't care!

The most infuriating thing about the situation, apart from the fact that I actually asked her in the first place, is that the ten extremely painful minutes I spent plucking hairs from my nostrils and ears have been wasted. Not to mention the time spent searching though the laundry bin for a pair of not too dirty socks. I had even contemplated spending £10 on having my haircut. £10! I could live on that for a month! Thank goodness I only contemplated it!

I won't ask her out again. No. She has blown her chance with me. That is it! Finished! Gone! In a strange sort of way I even feel a huge sadness overcoming me, as I think about what she has missed out on. There are so many ways she could have benefited from being in my company. So many ways. The list is endless. For a start she has missed out on......  she has missed out on......  Look here, I'm too upset to think of anything at the moment. I don't want to talk about it any more. What's the point? She forgot anyway.

Not to worry, you know me, I'll soon bounce back. Already I'm beginning to see the positives. There is the £10 I saved on not having my haircut. There is the money I would have spent on getting her drunk, er, I mean buying her a drink. Fuel is expensive these days, I've saved money there. Then there is the saving on men's toiletries. My new cologne might not be the most expensive, but at least none was wasted tonight. I'd have had to have a shower. Hot water costs money, not to mention soap. Although I would probably have stolen some of my extremely handsome son George's shower gel. So all in all, when looked at in a positive way I have come out of the situation rather well. Apart from the loss of a few nasal and ear hairs, which I didn't want any way. So yah boo sucks to her!

That's all I have to say on the matter. Except if there is any among you, who is able to proffer any advice, or offer counselling, as to how I can stop myself from asking women out on dates, please let me know.

Another lucky escape I know, but I cannot keep riding my luck like this. I definitely need help!

She forgot! She actually forgot! Unbelievable!

I'm not bothered. I'm not bothered, at all!