Some of my regular readers will be aware that I have recently joined a couple of online dating sites. Listen to me! Regular readers indeed! I'm beginning to think of myself as a proper writer. Anyway I did promise to keep you updated on my progress. Or, as it turns out, lack of it.
There is in fact very little to tell you. I had one date with a very nice lady. That's it. One date. But that one date, pleasant as it was, convinced me that I really and truly enjoy my life the way that it is.
I have to be honest with myself and freely admit that I am selfish and unwilling to change. Probably, as I am being brutal with myself, I should also admit that I would be unable to change anyway. Because, if I were to share my life, full time, with another, it would inevitably require some changes.
Although I am alone, I am not lonely. I have some very good friends. Indeed I have built up quite a social life for myself lately. In fact it can be too hectic at times for this old guy, and I have to step back and take a rest from it all.
I think what motivated me to join the dating sites was the lack of an, ahem, intimate side to my life. Hey! I'm getting on a bit, but I am not dead yet. There still courses, well, flows, oh alright then, dribbles, through my veins the blood of a passionate man.
However, if I'm not prepared to put the effort into a relationship I can hardly expect anyone else to. I will just have to soldier on, alone but happy. Until such time as the miracle occurs which sends Miss Wonderful, the perfectly understanding woman into my life. I am not holding my breath.
My subscriptions to the dating sites have been cancelled. I have seen the light. I am free from the need to be constantly checking my email inbox. No one will be contacting me. I will no longer have to suffer the indignity of not being tall enough, or solvent enough, or hirsute enough. I no longer have to feel guilty because I do not particularly like eating out, or going to the theatre. The inside of my car can go back to looking like a dustbin, and smelling like a dog kennel. The iron can go back into the cupboard where it belongs, and I can go back to my happy crumpled self. I don't care anymore. Because I am what I am. Not what I want some improbably perfect woman to think I am.
I think you are well ahead of the men that try to be something that they are not. You are at least honest with yourself and women by admitting that you don't want to change. Who knows, that special someone might just come into your life when you're not expecting it.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry that things did not work out as you wished. You did learn a some things about yourself to help you come to terms with who you are. Now that you can be you again, perhaps you can find someone with the same desires as you have. Believe it or not, a lot of people of both sexes do not wish for more than an occasional companion. Until then you still have your ladies of the internet.
ReplyDeleteIn other words, you're back to your comfortable self. If I had to face the upheaval of a new relationship it would soon have me scurrying behind locked doors...grins. Love that word hirsute!
ReplyDeletePS ... you ARE a writer!
I am so happy to have found you all.
ReplyDeleteLive and learn. Love's a tricky think. When it comes... you'll stumble upon it.
ReplyDeleteYou know what? Now you are not 'looking' you'll probably find someone.
ReplyDeleteJane x
You learned a ton! I have friends who would like to be in a relationship but have found that the online dating scene is not their "cup of tea." Not to worry: I think that at a certain age one has more insight and contentment. Live in the moment and all will be well. Thanks for the wonderful entry.
ReplyDeleteYou probably learned something from it all. You may be slightly more alone, but you're probably that much more happy.
ReplyDeletehirsute- now there's a word i haven't seen in regular use lately! i think that at our age we have to be who we are- if someone we bump into is a good match we will know.
ReplyDeleteGood for you. Better to be happy in your own skin. Iron....What's that? Haha! Never fear...there's someone for everyone. Maa
ReplyDeleteLike Maa said "good for you" No one should have to change themselves to please someone else. Personally I have nothing against relationships and marriage since I am of course married but I think the whole living together thing really messes things up.
ReplyDeleteI tried the online dating thing too and I gave up after one date too!
ReplyDeleteYou have just written my feelings about all this relationship thing down for me, may I just copy and paste this post to any of my friends who might dare to pityingly ask if I have met anyone?
Thank you all for your comments. They mean a lot to me.
ReplyDeleteRae, please feel free to copy and paste.
As a fellow veteran (ess?) of online dating, I can attest to it not being all things for all people. But, then Grenville and I met online and here we are nearly 15 years later, proof that sometimes it does work or maybe we just got lucky and saved 2 other people?
ReplyDelete:) I can so relate to this post! (I like my iron in the cupboard too! lol
ReplyDelete