Sunday, 26 July 2015

Talking To Myself.



Dear Diary,
                  Some days, due to the pain in my feet, walking is a terrible chore. I feel really guilty that I can’t take Mia the German Shepherd for long rambles. I don’t want to moan too much, nobody wants to hear about miserable stuff but I thought, while it is wet and miserable outside a little bit more won’t be too much to tolerate just this once. I suppose I should be grateful that I have enough space around me to give her enough exercise with ball games. Yes I am grateful for that. The pain isn’t always there either so I am grateful for that too.

I used to run long distances. Not as part of a club or anything. Just on my own and just for the sheer joy of it. Miles and miles I used to go. Probably ran a few marathon distances without even realising it. Sometimes in my dreams I imagine I still run everywhere. My feet hardly making contact with the ground and almost floating.

In my early forties while running across the park I was side swiped by a collie dog. It knocked me to the ground twisting my knee sideways. The dog’s owner was apologetic  and I told her I was fine. As it turned out, I wasn’t all right at all and my running days were effectively over from that day on.

That’s enough introspection. I am going to paint today. I have a quick sketch of flying ducks I shall turn into a work of art.



I have sold seven paintings this year including commissions. All right it’s not many but it’s seven more than Vincent Van Gogh sold in his entire life, short though it was.

I don’t keep a record of how many paintings I have sold in my lifetime. The first one I sold I was in my twenties. I must have sold hundreds since then I would think. I remind myself of this when I lose heart with the whole art thing which is quite frequently.

Not at the moment though. At the moment I am in full artistic mode and loving it.

Feeling happier now that’s off my chest.





Friday, 24 July 2015

The Use Of Love Handles In The Art Of Love.


Since me feet gave out and curtailed me walking any distance I have put on a bit of weight. I say a bit of weight, but to be frank it’s rather a lot. I have got love handles on top of me love handles. Ironic really since there ain’t much loving taking place lately.

It’s difficult to say exactly how much weight ‘cos I ain’t got a weighing machine anymore. I got rid of it. Trouble is it was metric and I don’t do metric. I was bleedin’ ‘eavy enough when it was in stones so kilogrammes used to really do me ‘ed in. Besides which it was digital too so I could never read the dial in a steamy bathroom. Yes, I could have weighed meself before turning the tap on but I usually weigh a lot more when I’m dirty and I like to give meself a fair chance.

Shape wise I’m not too bad. My legs for instance are sensational. And though I say it myself I have a rather lovely turn of ankle. That's without socks of course.

Most of the extra weight I’m carrying is around me middle. I reckon it’s about two stone I have put on. Most of it is cakes. I am very partial to a cake. Last night I had eight Mr Kipling Viennese Whirls in one sitting. What I like to do is separate the two halves and lick the buttercream filling off first then the jam and finally finish off by nibbling round the edges of each biscuit slowly. It drives the dog mad watching me eat them. I suppose I could let her have a little taste but sweet biscuits ain’t good for dogs.

If I compress my stomach fat in both hands it takes on the shape of about half a football which along with me extended love handles gives me quite an additional girth.

So, from tomorrow I intend to become a vegetarian. I shall give it a months trial first just to be sure it’s the right thing to do.

My first veggie meal will be a plate of acorns marinaded in a Knorr vegetable stock cube gravy. And for dessert I shall make do with a handful of dried grass. I can feel the weight dropping off just thinking about it.

You might not recognise me the next time we meet, but I don’t want you women worrying. Apparently the love handles are the last to go in weight loss.  Although you will have to come to me because since me feet gave out I can’t walk any distance. Not even in the name of lurve!