Tuesday, 29 April 2014

Bluebells And Blues.

You won't believe this. Or perhaps you will, but I have messed my computer up again. Lost all my files. Lost everything. Trouble is I have clicked on things. Well it told me to so I did. Luckily everything is backed up onto a memory stick. At least I hope it is.
We found an orchid. This is my favourite picture of Mia.
My friend John is coming to sort things out again on Friday, and he is going to give me a few computer lessons too. Hopefully I will understand what he teaches me.
My favourite picture of Mia.

Young people find it difficult to understand why older people find computers so confusing. To be honest with you I find it difficult to understand my smart phone, and here's an admittance; I suspect that even my TV remote is capable of far more than I know.
My favourite picture of Mia.

I have never been good at mathematics, and I think computers must come from the same route.

My favourite picture of Mia.
Oh well onwards and upwards as they say. At least I can cope with most things I need to know. I have managed to upload - with difficulty - some pictures for you, from a walk in the woods yesterday. I hope you like them.

My favourite picture of Mia.
My favourite picture of Mia.

Friday, 25 April 2014

Ultimately, And In The Scheme Of Things, Quite Pleased, Considering.

Made it back OK after my change from Windows xp. I am now on something different. I have been different, properly different, since about 4-30 this afternoon. It is taking a bit of getting used to, but then I suppose it would do, what with it being different an' all.

Usually in the morning when I switch this machine on I have to wait for it to warm up. I have time to put the kettle on, feed Mia the German Shepherd, do my ablutions, get dressed, let the hens out, take Mia the GS for a walk down to the village shop to buy a newspaper, do the vacuuming, have a couple of rounds of hot buttered toast and do the washing up. By which time the computer is sometimes ready to work. But now all I have to do, is switch on and thirty seconds later I'm online. It's that fast.

OK look, I lied about doing the vacuuming. Sorry. And the washing up. Sorry again. OK OK so I don't always walk down to the village shop either. Sometimes I do. Once in a blue moon. Sorry. Sincerely.

I was really pleased when I realised that what I now have is Windows 7 Ultimate. Windows 7 Ultimate. Ultimate. It was the word ultimate that gave me such pleasure. I mean, ultimate, you can't get better than having the ultimate version of something can you?

Here's proof for you. ultimate. adj. 1 being or happening at the end of a process; final. 2 being the best or most extreme example of its kind. (the ultimate) the best of its kind that is imaginable.
John the computer wizard in what he thinks is an intelligent pose.

So I says to John, my computer wizard friend, I says, "I'm really pleased to have Windows 7 Ultimate, cos obviously being the ultimate it can't be bettered."

"Well," he says, stretching the word out, "weeeel, there is Windows 8."

"WHAT?" I spluttered loudly. Spluttered, because I was so shocked.

"Windows 8," he repeated, "but you wouldn't want that, not for your needs. No, Windows 7 Ultimate is plenty good enough for you." And with that, he changed the subject and began to make a fuss of Mia the German Shepherd. "Give me a paw Mia," he said to her. "She's very intelligent isn't she?" he said to me when she obliged.

I was too shell shocked to answer. I felt cheated. It said Ultimate. It was there on the bloody screen. Ultimate. ULTI-BLOODY-MATE!

It's not right. Not right at all. You just can't go bandying words around willy nilly like that.

So what I've actually got is Windows 7 and a flagrant downright bloody lie!

I shall be writing to Microsoft first thing in the morning to complain. I don't expect a satisfactory reply though. Because ultimately, it appears, they can say anything they like. After all it's only words.

All that aside though. It's great to be back. Thanks for waiting. And thank you John for your patience and help.

Wednesday, 23 April 2014

Might Be Back On Friday.

This is me writing on a new programme I have installed. I was worried about windows xp because I saw a warning that it is no longer being supported. I'm not doing it on my own because I am hopeless with computer technology. Actually I haven't done any of it myself to be honest. This new programme is installed but there are one or two things to be sorted out. One thing I can see as I write this is that the typeface - if that's what it's called - is very blurry and it is making my eyes hurt. Also I cannot get the screen to the right size.

This computer of mine is old. The disc thingy doesn't work and things have to be done with a driver which I don't know about. We are going to have another go at solving the problems on Friday, I am sure it will be fine, he says, fingers crossed, touch wood, don't put your shoes on the table, hallo Mrs Magpie how are you today, pick that lady's glove up, see a pin and pick it up and all day long you'll have good luck, and any other superstitious nonsense I can think of.

Hallo what's this? Something is flashing at the bottom of the screen. I shall click on it, can't do any harm surely. Hold on please I shall be back in a minute. I hope.

It wanted me to agree to install something. I did agree. It's still flashing. I shall try to ignore it.

This new programme is very fast which is wonderful. I wonder if clicking on that flashing thing has done any harm? Too late now. Crikey I hope I haven't buggered things up already. I do have a bad habit of clicking on things without knowing what the hell I'm doing. Can't do any harm I always think. Usually wrongly.

It's still flashing. Should I click on it again? Try to resist John. Ignore it for heaven's sake. Ignore it. NO! Oh you bloody idiot, why'd you do that? Look just turn the computer off. Wait till Friday, let your computer savvy friend sort it. Go and watch some television. Just LEAVE THE COMPUTER ALONE!

I am closing down now. There is something I want to watch on tele. Might see you on Friday, touch wood. Good job I'm not superstitious. Hey it isn't the 13th on Friday is it?

Now then, let's see what happens when I click publish.

Sunday, 20 April 2014


Today the rain came back. Well of course it would have to wouldn't it? It's Easter Sunday! What were you hoping for, bright sunshine?

Tell you what though, this dreary, wet, lowering grey sky type of weather really knocks me right down into the dumps. It's always worse too when it happens of a sudden, straight after a run of sunshine and warmth.

It's strange though don't you think, that we should greet this vital part of our planets continuance with such misery. It is after all just as important to our lives as the sun.

Did you notice the word continuance there? I'm not just a pretty face you know. I know some big words too.

Mind you if I lived in a desert I would be writing this from completely the opposite direction: Today the sun came back.

My extremely handsome son George is home for the Easter holiday. Rain or shine his presence always cheers me up. Today though he has gone to visit his Grandmother. So it's all quiet on the western front. All quiet except for the rain drumming on the wagon roof. Now there is a paradox, why when the rain comes down in gentle shower form is it such a soothing sound from the roof, yet when it pours down it drives me mad?

Mia the German Shepherd seems a bit down in the dumps too today. I'm not sure if it's the rain causing it though. I think perhaps it's the fact that EHS George has gone off for the day that has upset her. She adores EHS George, and of course he can play football with her for a lot longer than I can. She has taken to playing with a ball now. When she first arrived she didn't seem interested at all. I shall tell her that when EHS George gets back this evening we are going to the woods, see if that cheers her up.

George and Mia
While I'm on the subject of Mia the GS I shall let you know how things are with her and me. She is lovely. Doesn't bother running away anymore, and comes quickly to my recall -most of the time. She no longer gets fearful or shows aggression to other dogs when she is on the lead, and off the lead she meets and greets other dogs without any nastiness. I am now quite confident that she is, as I suspected a gentle character. Our walks are now lovely relaxing events. And here at home the hens are now safe to free range once more. We are still working on her relationship with Bonnie the ginger cat. Mia still chases her whenever they chance to meet, and poor old Bonnie is still living in the stable. If only Bonnie would not run whenever she see's Mia I think they would get on just fine. I can't see how to solve this problem other than to let time take it's course. Just to reassure you cat lovers out there, I still make time every day to sit with Bonnie and make a fuss of her, and she does seem perfectly happy in the stable, where I have made it as comfortable as possible for her.

It's still raining hard, but hey we need a drop of rain to help the beautiful spring flowers to grow. What's not to like?

Well that's it then for now. I think I shall pop down to the shop. I fancy a strawberry cheesecake. Cheer myself up a bit. Actually I am already feeling more cheerful. I always do after I have spoken to you. Thanks for that.

Thursday, 17 April 2014

Not Cooking With Gas.

I ran out of gas the end of last week and didn't have enough money to buy any more. Quite a common situation for me, running out of money. Not something I worry about too much. Seems pointless to worry about something I haven't got. As I always say, the Lord will provide. Hey that reminds me, I haven't checked my lottery ticket! He sometimes works in mysterious ways. I could be a millionaire! Where did I put that ticket?

If you are an American, and I know quite a few people are, I should point out that when I talk about gas I don't mean for the car, I mean gas for cooking. I use calor or propane gas. Funny thing is it comes in liquid form but somehow between the container and the stove it changes into an invisible gas. Don't ask me to explain that please. Beats me. It comes in a little tank. Not one of them army tanks. I don't have the Tank Regiment turning up on my doorstep. I'm talking about a steel container. Holds about 15kg. I say about 15kg because although it says that on the container how can I be sure? I don't have the faintest clue how to weigh gas. I mean if I let the gas out to weigh it it would surely just float away? I could I suppose capture it in a balloon, but what size balloon? Suppose I got the wrong size, I'd be in trouble then wouldn't I? The whole issue could turn into another Hindenburg disaster. A bloody great explosion. Bits of burning balloon all over the place. Probably set fire to my wagon. I'd end up homeless. There would have to be an inquiry and I would have to explain how it happened. Have to tell them I was checking to see if the gas really did weigh 15kg. They might even declare me mentally unstable and lock me away. It doesn't bear thinking about. No, if it says 15kg I just have to take their word for it. It just isn't worth the risk. There is an element of trust involved, but luckily I am a trusting type of bloke.

Here in the UK we call petrol petrol. I didn't run out of petrol. Wouldn't happen anyway because my vehicle uses diesel. If I put petrol in it wouldn't run at all. Nowadays we can convert our vehicles to gas if we are so inclined or used cooking oil. Although if I can't cook anyway I don't expect to have any used cooking oil. I don't mean petrol this time. I mean gas the stuff I use for cooking. Yes we can run our cars on cooking gas. I can't though because I have run out. I can't even cook anything. Not on the stove anyway.

Somewhere about the place I have got a little Coleman stove. It runs on petrol. I could have used that I suppose, 'cept I can't find it, and I don't have any petrol. It is in one of my many sheds -15 at the last count - buried beneath all sorts of junk. I gave up at shed number five. Not that my sheds are numbered, but it was the fifth one I tried. Maybe I should put numbers on my sheds? I don't think it would help though not really. Unless I made lists of what each shed contained. This would involve too much effort though, and anyway I'm not one for lists. Last list I made got lost. Probably in one of the sheds. It'll turn up one day. It doesn't really matter because I have forgotten what was on it anyway.

When I told my extremely handsome son George that the gas had run out and I wasn't able to cook, he was astonished. "Dad," he said, because that's what he calls me what with me being his father, "Dad, you are supposed to be a bushcraft expert and you are telling me you can't cook anything?"

Of course he had a point, there are many ways of cooking without a gas stove. I took the easy option and lit my wood burning range. Cooked myself a fry up. Bacon, egg, sausage and beans. Delicious. An even easier method would have been to use the microwave oven. Not very bushcraft that though, and anyway I had forgotten I had one.

Why I bother with gas at all I just don't know. Lazy I suppose.

Enjoy the Easter weekend. If you are travelling anywhere make sure you fill up with petrol. That's gas by the way if you are in the States. Don't put gas in your petrol tank though if you are in the UK, that's just asking for trouble.

Friday, 11 April 2014

The 'A Minor' Chord

The 'A Minor' chord being shown and demonstrated to Mia the German Shepherd.

Monday, 7 April 2014

Neglected Blog.

This blog of mine is being badly neglected lately. Sorry about that, and sorry if it is having too profound effect on your life. That last sentence was a joke by the way. I expect you are used to my sense of humour by now.

I keep thinking about giving up this blog but don't have the heart or the nerve to say goodbye to it, or indeed to you just at the moment. Mind you I also think about getting it going regularly again. Which I enjoyed so much for a couple of years.

Why have I stopped my regular musings? I simply don't know. It just happened. I hope it might just happen back again.

Mia the German Shepherd has been keeping me busy. She is doing really well most of the time. It has been four months since she arrived and we have definitely bonded. She has now got her own Facebook page. Mia German Shepherd Bain, is where she can be found. I might have to stop her page soon though if she continues to say horrid things about me.

Hopefully I will be back writing more soon. If not, please forgive me.

I hope you are all keeping well.