Saturday, 1 December 2012

Just Talking That's All.

Despite signing up for Skype I have still not got around to getting a webcam and microphone. I have spoken to Ilona and I can see and hear her OK. She can hear me but of course I don't have the webcam so she can't see me. Probably lucky for her because I was in bed at the time, naked as a jaybird! It was a bit dark where she was, no lights on, what with her being the meanqueen and all, so I couldn't see too clearly but I think she was fully clothed!
Eventually I will get around to buying a webcam but from what I hear about the difficulties with different time zones it might not be too practical anyway. I think I shall just play it by ear for the moment. I do think it is a wonderful thing how it is possible to see and speak to anyone in the world at the click of a button. Free too! Blimey, I never got around to working out button A and button B in the old phone boxes! Modern technology eh! Fantastic!

Except for the spammers! They are driving me crazy! Over thirty anonymous comments on this blog today. What right do they think they have to keep interfering with my blogging hobby. Look spammers I am not interested. I am not going to click on your links, ever! It is not going to happen. However if you would like to email me your home address, next time I am passing by your place I will knock on your front door and smack you one right on your ugly nose! Listen, you moronic slug like nuisance, there is nothing for you on here. Nothing to be gained by your continuous illiterate comments. So please do me a big favour and FUCK OFF!

Please excuse me for that, and accept my apologies, but I am angry at them, as you may have guessed. Who are they? What is it all about? I just don't understand. Do people actually make a living out of spamming? How does that work? Anyway that is enough about them. Sorry again!

Something else that has been exercising the old grey matter, is the hard butter, soft bread dilemma. I am desperate for a solution to this problem, and I know that only women know how to do it. I have never seen a woman tear bread while buttering it, so please don't try and deny that you can do it.

If anyone could see their way clear to sharing the secret with me I shall include them in a prize draw. The prize, and I know you will be excited to hear this, will be a copy of my 2013 calendar, featuring twelve full colour photos of me, in various artfully arranged poses. I think you will particularly enjoy seeing me as Mr August. This is my birthday month, and so I am wearing my birthday suit!

Finally, just before I go, I thought you might like to see how well Mr Christian Grey and his lady Ms Blackrock are looking. They have both put on weight and have grown all their feathers back. There is no sign yet that they will marry but I am hopeful that come the Spring he will take her for his wife and make her Mrs Grey. The other cockerel Sunny Jim has so far not started any fights, and they seem to have marked out their own territories.

Bye for now, and once again sorry for the rant!


  1. I do not use skype at all. It would mean having to comb my hair every time I get on the computer. Mr Grey and Ms Blackrock look to be getting along quite well.

  2. I make toast so I don't have this problem. I don't butter soft bread, bread and butter sandwiches are not a Yank thing. I took off my word verification and have slowly seen the increase of spam. Currently it's all about drugs, but I get some message in cyrillic, I assume it is Russian.

  3. Once had a webcam for my desktop PC, and tried Skype a few times but the problem was that no one else I knew was using it and friends had PCs with no webcam, so I deleted the application and sold the camera. Most notebook PCs have built in cameras anyway.
    The secret to not tearing the bread is to letthe butter soften a bit before trying to spread it.
    As for spammers, we do not use word verification and had gotten some spam, but nothing more than a couple here and there, 30 is really a bit much so your rant was well justified - but do you think the spammers are reading it?

  4. Our laptop has a built in camera...problem solved.
    Jane x

  5. 30 a day? Oh Heaven's I'd rant to. I'm upset when I get 2-3 a day. Take a small amount of butter from your cube and put it in a separate small dish and put in the microwave for about 5-10 seconds. That way your main chunk of it is not melting/cooling constantly. When your small bowl empties, fill it again.

  6. I don't know why some bloggers get lots of spam and others get hardly any. I am lucky that I get very few. I think it is most rude to comment just to put a link to your own bloggy business or website.

    Melting a small knob of butter in the microwave sounds about right. I don't buy it, I get the tubs of olive oil spread. Never have the tearing bread problem.

    Your cock looks like a handsome boy.

  7. I have just prepared a post about spam, to be published later. About the subject of spreading on bread... I am useless at it so I switched to imitation As for Skype, no thanks... I too would have to comb my hair every time.

    I seem to be having trouble with my blog so I might ask a favour of you soon, if you don't mind.

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  9. John, I would have sent this by email but Yahoo is temporarily 'down'.

    To prevent anonymous responses to your blog do this:

    Go to Settings, then select Posts and Comments. scroll down to 'who can comment' and tick 'Registered User'.

    It worked for me.

  10. Hi John
    look for 'Kerrygold' softened butter in the supermarkets, its exactly the same but stays just that little bit softer and can be spread straight from the fridge.
    I read an article the other day written by a Doctor who reckoned that all the new fangle margarines are actually bad for you, apparently they contain God knows what...
    Butter is best for you all round.
    Absolutely no difference in calories either.

  11. I'm with you, John those spammers are right annoying! Would like to order a copy of your calendar minus August...that might be just a bit too much! Would love to hear from you! Lea and I have been a bit inconsistent with our posting. You can check us out at if you get a chance.

  12. I always buy the butter in a tub that is labeled spreadable. No torn bread.
    Since I stopped allowing the anonymous comments I have had no further problem with spam.

  13. Yes the trick is to buy spreadable butter.
    I can see your upcoming cookbook including tips like the best way to spread butter, and choosing the right potatoes.
    Glad Mr.CG and Ms.BR are getting along fine.